Raine despises attending the Quinsley private high school for "extremely gifted children." Having been an extraordinary artist, Raine was immediately accepted. A new town, and a new life- except her only friend is Grandma's dog Rico, and her neighbor Parker who plays the piano and attends public school. Parker is okay, at least that's what Raine thinks. An awkward exchange of secret notes, and observing the other from afar, a strange and special friendship begins to flourish and bring color back to Raine's life. Something happened to Raine that ultimately changed her forever, but where did Raine fall, and how can a friend or two bring her back?
Whoa Ryan, that was a very well-written piece. I was very impressed with how you started if off seeming like it was going to be any ordinary story, and then you twisted it into an exciting adventure for the readers. I found it very clever how you made the main character put clues and facts together. I really like how you worded this sentence: "I continued down the stairs until about halfway down when took my attention away from the old stairs just long enough for me to stumble." It seemed like something any person would do, but what they found was extraordinary. Very well written!
Overall the piece is great. I liked the way how each opposite comes from the same scenario, like the roar of the crowds, and then the dignified silence of victory. I also liked the way it rhymes and the very creative ending. "There are many things that strike my attention, yet many things that create added tension. These opposites are alike, these opposites are what I like." These lines are great and sum up the whole piece very well, along with making the ending dramatic.
I agree with Anderson, I like how you formatted the different scenarios into their own separate paragraphs. One thing that that shows us is how multi-dimensional a lot of the activities you like and many other like to do. By pointing out the different experiences that you can have through a similar situation, it gives a very interesting perspective on things. The only thing that I would say is just I'm pretty sure the word you're looking for is "midst" not "mits". Other than that I thought it was great.
This is an awesome take on a classic fairytale! I absolutely loved reading it, and I thought it was really fantastic that you were able to integrate the story seamlessly into a modern setting. Also, I was so not expecting the the saxophone case full of diamonds! You're story kept me on my toes the whole time I was reading it—it was satisfyingly unpredictable. Brilliant twist on Little Red Riding Hood!
Emily this was such an amazing poem and it was very vivid!! First of all I really like the simile you use between the waves and the tablecloth. Also you use very descriptive detail which makes each of your images very vivid and imaginable. One of my favorite lines from your poem is the following one: "Before the oncoming assault of the next White foam-lipped wave can accost you." This passage is one of the many that is very descriptive and portrays clear images. Overall great job, you really got to all my senses and made me miss the wonderful beaches of Baja!
Where The Rain Falls
ReplyDeletehttps://youngwritersproject.org/node/19020
Raine despises attending the Quinsley private high school for "extremely gifted children." Having been an extraordinary artist, Raine was immediately accepted. A new town, and a new life- except her only friend is Grandma's dog Rico, and her neighbor Parker who plays the piano and attends public school. Parker is okay, at least that's what Raine thinks. An awkward exchange of secret notes, and observing the other from afar, a strange and special friendship begins to flourish and bring color back to Raine's life. Something happened to Raine that ultimately changed her forever, but where did Raine fall, and how can a friend or two bring her back?
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/19924
ReplyDeleteWhoa Ryan, that was a very well-written piece. I was very impressed with how you started if off seeming like it was going to be any ordinary story, and then you twisted it into an exciting adventure for the readers. I found it very clever how you made the main character put clues and facts together. I really like how you worded this sentence: "I continued down the stairs until about halfway down when took my attention away from the old stairs just long enough for me to stumble." It seemed like something any person would do, but what they found was extraordinary. Very well written!
DeleteOpposites
ReplyDeletehttps://youngwritersproject.org/node/19970
Overall the piece is great. I liked the way how each opposite comes from the same scenario, like the roar of the crowds, and then the dignified silence of victory. I also liked the way it rhymes and the very creative ending. "There are many things that strike my attention, yet many things that create added tension.
DeleteThese opposites are alike, these opposites are what I like." These lines are great and sum up the whole piece very well, along with making the ending dramatic.
I agree with Anderson, I like how you formatted the different scenarios into their own separate paragraphs. One thing that that shows us is how multi-dimensional a lot of the activities you like and many other like to do. By pointing out the different experiences that you can have through a similar situation, it gives a very interesting perspective on things. The only thing that I would say is just I'm pretty sure the word you're looking for is "midst" not "mits". Other than that I thought it was great.
Deletehttps://youngwritersproject.org/node/19974
ReplyDeleteLittle Red Riding Hood https://youngwritersproject.org/node/20025
ReplyDeleteThis is an awesome take on a classic fairytale! I absolutely loved reading it, and I thought it was really fantastic that you were able to integrate the story seamlessly into a modern setting. Also, I was so not expecting the the saxophone case full of diamonds! You're story kept me on my toes the whole time I was reading it—it was satisfyingly unpredictable. Brilliant twist on Little Red Riding Hood!
DeleteSeaside Mornings
ReplyDeletehttps://youngwritersproject.org/node/20035
Emily this was such an amazing poem and it was very vivid!! First of all I really like the simile you use between the waves and the tablecloth. Also you use very descriptive detail which makes each of your images very vivid and imaginable. One of my favorite lines from your poem is the following one: "Before the oncoming assault of the next White foam-lipped wave can accost you." This passage is one of the many that is very descriptive and portrays clear images. Overall great job, you really got to all my senses and made me miss the wonderful beaches of Baja!
DeleteWhat I Like
ReplyDeletehttps://youngwritersproject.org/node/20051
Some of the Things I Like
ReplyDeletehttps://youngwritersproject.org/node/20038